I've always been bored to tears by status updates and progress reports from potty training parents.
"George has gone four hours without a nappy!"
"Eva has just asked to do a big poo in her potty!"
And too much information, thanks all the same,
Well, today is Day 4 of no nappy for The Toddler and I sort of get the proudness. I'll admit it, the highlight of my work day yesterday was receiving a text from said toddler's Granny to inform me he had successfully sat and shat on his potty. I was elated. High fives all round for the toilet training team of coaches.
So far so good, bar a few accidents as rightly expected.
However, I feel it is necessary to point out the reality of this proud milestone journey:
Potty training is, to all intents and purposes, really quite rank. Sure wees are all good. Wee accidents resulting in soaking shorts and shoe puddles are part of the package. No dramas.
But nothing prepared me for the day I would be faced with a fully formed human turd in a plastic pot.
Granted that is where it is meant to go. A poo in the potty - fantastic!
But Jesus Christ. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.
The smell. The sight. The sound.
Never before have I displayed an external reaction so at odds with every bone and sense in my body. "Such a clever boy! Well done my darling!" I beamed, whilst physically urging on my way to drop this longed for potty deposit down the toilet (cue more urging, an immediate requirement for a toilet brush/bleach and having to open every downstairs window). Then you have to run after a small person who is charging around without having yet been wiped. Use your own imagination for the challenges this brings. Mainly to previously un(skid)marked furniture.
4 days in and I am coping better. I have been told I would have been better encouraging a transition straight from nappy to child's toilet seat (duly noted for Baby Two's turn), but having already encouraged the fateful potty I feel I am committed to seeing it through. At least until he is more confident.
So my wonderful and bright boy is doing exactly what has been asked of him and I am proud. Truly I am. I am just also starting to realise that nappies weren't so bad...and that I have more of a tendency to gag at smells than previously thought.
Lesson 23: Potty training is pretty gross. If you have a weak stomach, maybe skip the Plastic Poo Pot bit and migrate straight to the toilet.
The Unmumsy Mum