- Enjoying the heat of the sun without being consumed by infant sunburn worries? Without chasing the midday shade, slapping everyone in Factor 50 and constantly re-positioning the sunhat your baby seems to have real beef with. The baby who incidentally is
Max Branning gingerstrawberry blonde and really needs to wear the bastard sunhat.
- Fortnights abroad where your biggest dilemma was which magazine to buy for the plane and how many bikinis to pack?
- Sunbathing with your EYES SHUT at the beach without being on Red Alert for unacceptable sand-throwing behaviour and/or kidnapping?
- Devouring a grown-up ice cream like a magnum in its entirety and not having to donate it to your toddler who has dropped the bottom third of his Rocket?
- Having a 'summer wardrobe' HA HA HA and nicely tanned legs with the help of Dove Summer Glow?
- Going out for a nice cold drink after work? On occasions finding that "just the one" had snowballed into a dirty 3am kebab?
- Popping anywhere on a WHIM (a whim!) to make the most of the weather, without having to drag along a pram/change bag/array of plastic tat, plus charming but slightly shitty-tempered children?
- Enjoying a sophisticated lunch al fresco, possibly reading something that isn't Each Peach Pear Plum? [Tom Thumb in the cupboard, I spy Mother
about to lose some serious shit if she has to find the fucking bears againHubbard].
- Talking to friends at a BBQ? You know, conversation. About real stuff not related to the four month sleep regression and/or reward charts? Chat uninterrupted by the tantrum over BBQ food (because he asked for ketchup but now he HATES ketchup and the hotdog without ketchup isn't any better because HE WANTED KETCHUP).
No, me neither.
The Unmumsy Mum
[Enjoying a cold glass of wine whilst dancing around the kitchen to songs from the early noughties. Got a MARS ice-cream in the freezer for later. That'll do. Happy Friday y'all].