Monday, 28 September 2015

A Change Is As Good As a Rest (Our Caravan Holiday)

This blog has always been a snapshot of my everyday reality at home and sometimes I feel like I'm being a right mardy cow. I finish every other sentence with, "For fuck's sake" and in part I think this is because I'm simply far more compelled to write about stuff that has wound me up. I've made no bones about finding motherhood more than a bit tough at times and writing is a bit like therapy; the comments from you guys quite often feel like a reassuring pat on the shoulder which says, 'You're doing alright.' For that, I am eternally grateful.  

Anyway, as you know my vow has always been to document the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the 'I've-Watched-So-Much-Twatty-Paw-Patrol-I-Might-Kill-Someone' truth. So as we jetted off drove down to our caravan in Cornwall I made the same vow about the holiday. I'd give you the warts and all rundown.

Well here's the thing. The holiday warts were much less warty (totally not talking about a nasty STI here, just to be clear). It's true I've given the virtual Screw You to 'Supermum' many times before and I stand by that gesture (Supermum is not a real person, she's a mythical beast much like Ruth from Shelly Parkinson's daughter's comprehension homework). However, this weekend I came the closest I probably ever have to dabbling in Supermumdom.
 
Not outwardly, I don't suppose. Supermum would never have rewarded her child's shitty behaviour by giving him a Twister.

Supermum would never have said, "Oh you don't need to buy a poncho my darling they're just trying to rip us off!" as her unsuspecting three year old (and husband) set off on the log flume only to return five minutes later soaked to their underpants.

Supermum would never have forgotten to pack her son's bedtime toy nor would she guiltily have bought an extortionately priced toy cow from a gift shop as compensation (no the original isn't a cow, I did what I could with limited resources).

Supermum would not have whispered, 'Do what you fucking like' under her breath when her son didn't want the sausage he had chosen from the chip shop and instead wanted a jumbo sausage (even though after much shouting it soon became clear that in actual fact he simply hated all sausages. Since when? Since that exact moment, obviously).
 
So whilst I didn't rock up to the beach with well groomed children and organic healthy snacks and a list of 101 ways to be the best fucking mum ever there was something about being on holiday that just felt great.
  
It felt different.

I had more patience. I swore under my breath far less. On several occasions I caught myself  laughing so hard it was dangerous (maybe one time it was more than dangerous). I got stuck in. I went on water slides and built sandcastles and made hot chocolate and let Henry stay up late to look at the moon.


So if you want to know if I'd recommend squeezing small people and luggage into a car to embark on a mini-break adventure then absolutely I would.

Was it easy? No, but somehow it felt easier than being at home.

Was it relaxing? No. (I optimistically packed not one but TWO books for a three night break. I also packed running trainers. I read five pages of one book and I didn't go for a run, I watched the X Factor with a beer instead).

Was it worth it? Yes. Truly, it was worth it. For once the Scales of Parenthood Woe were tipped in my favour and I've come home feeling a bit bloody fantastic. I might even do some crafty shit tomorrow (just kidding, unless putting Mister Maker on counts as craft time).

My best friend described holidaying with kids as 'Same Shit, Different Location' and she wasn't wrong. Yet somehow I felt more positive about the shit. I had more shit-fighting motivation in my locker and with it came fun and laughter and memories.

After all, memories aren't solely about the glossy stuff, are they? In fifteen years when I sob nostalgically as Henry heads off to University or wherever I'll probably say, "Do you remember that summer when you were little and we took you and your brother to Cornwall and drank hot chocolate under the moon and went on water slides but then fell out because you were being a total wanker about a chip shop sausage?"

I'll remember that I found having small kids unbelievably rewarding and totally bloody impossible all at the same time; it's only natural that my holiday memories will reflect that too.
 
The Unmumsy Mum

Trevella Park, Crantock
We stayed at Trevella Park and whilst this is not an official review post our caravan was just the ticket (and just down the road from the best beach I have ever been to). I was very sad to leave.








28 comments:

  1. Fantastic (from a mother of 3 boys now aged 18,16 and 11)

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  2. Brilliant! Loved it, sausage wanker! We often laugh about how the older kids were such little shits when they had a tantrum. It's all part of parenting and growing up surrounded by love. Coz after all even when they are being vicious little sausage facist see still love them to bits xx

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  3. Is that dairy land (my favourite of all the lands!) Felt the same after our Cornwall holiday, tantrums that could right off a day at home manage to just be a blip on holiday : )

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  4. Ooh we go to Trevella every year, love it and Crantock is ace, glad you enjoyed xx

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  5. Lovely that you had a breath of fresh air into mummyhood... even if it was still tinged with a slight shitty odour!haha! Looks like a beautiful place to stay too.

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  6. I love your blog and it was so lovely to hear how much fun you had. Thank you for helping keep me just a little bit sane on the days I just want to hide under the duvet (no chance with 3 aged 4 and under) and well done you, you're doing a great job! We're getting ready to take all 3 to Majorca for 5 nights at the end of October - first family trip. World you have been warned!

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  7. Haha another fantastic one, took my girls away in the summer (3&5) they are normally really close and get on really well, they spent a week knocking lumps out of each other, it was a great week though ( it rained 6 out of 7 days of our beach holiday in Scotland) lol

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  8. hahaha this has given me a good laugh, i love this blog and your total honesty. We're going away in a few weeks to the caravan for a long weekend for our daughters second bday.......can't wait lol. Glad you enjoyed yourself - now have a nice large glass of wine x

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  9. Same shit, different location - best line ever! Those rare moments when you can relax (a little) and enjoy the kids are what carries you through all the rest of the chaos. Love the blog, keep telling it how it is....

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  10. Read this out to my husband - can identify with a poo much

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  11. I love your blog because you sound just like I think! Supermum isn't anybody's friend and certainly no real mummy can respect Ruth. (Love the organic snack comment -my kids have only ever looked at me with the 'don't make me phone childline' face whenever a ricecake comes within 30ft of them)

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  12. There is just "something" about caravan holidays that kids love - like being in an over-sized Wendy house ! However, I seem to get a bit OCD about keeping the place constantly tidy - I even strip the beds on day of departure (the cleaners must love me ) Caravan Hols are brilliant ! Love the blog , makes me smile every time

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  13. As a father of two (now 32 and 28) and grandad to a two year old Ive been there, seen it and am doing it again. We are off in Nana and Grandads motorhome tomorrow for a couple of days. Some of us never learn :)

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  14. Love it - I'm from the "same shit different location" school of thought but you're right it is a little less shit especially if the sun is shining...

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  15. Thank you for making me feel normal.

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  16. Oh that pic with the moon gazing made me tear up! Wonderful post :)

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  17. I used to walk the dogs on the Kelsies (downs behind Trevella) to get some 'me time' away from my childerbeasts. Did you manage to go to Polly Joke beach?

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  18. But look on the bright side, they grow up, go to Uni (Oxford in my one's case), become a doctor, then treat you like the biggest wanker on the planet.

    And when you tell them to "piss off" you suddenly become the devil in disguise.

    Although being a bloke, I did your role, the mother decided to become a mad women instead (who's the wise one) ?

    Keep up the blog, it is excellent ! xx

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  19. Loved this.... We're on holiday now. My 18 month had a huge paddy and hit my 4yr old with a plastic golf club.
    That and letting the animals out of the cages on the farm. For fucks sake repeated under breath s few times
    They drive me bat shit crazy, but I love them!

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  20. Brilliant read, made me laugh out loud; in the car, all by myself. Not driving obviously! Can totally identify with the 'Paw Patrol' comment; had to watch two this morning before nursery. Keep it up......keeps us Mum's laughing. Thanku.

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  21. I'm not the only one then! Finally an honest take on how bloody hard it is to be a good mum.

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  22. It really truly is, same shit different location. Have decided that it could be the fucking Maldives and I'd still have to get up at 7am while Husband complained about his sore throat/sore head/other imaginary illness that he only gets at 7am so I don't see the point in going on holiday anymore until they've a) all left home or b) stay at home with aforementioned grumpy-ass Husband!

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    1. Leave the grumpy-ass-husband at home and take the kids you might find you are less stressed that way I know I did when I did it!

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  23. Ah a change is as good as a rest, well no it isn't but a change of scenery can be very nice and making memories is what its all about. The only thing is you have to keep reminding them of these wonderful moments because in a months time they'll have no memory of them what so ever!

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  24. Ha! Wine and trash TV will get you through anything! It does look like a lovely beach. I could drink wine on that! Wine. Mmmm ;)

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  25. Appreciate the honesty. My hubby has convinced me to buy a caravan to 'create memories' with the little one...not really my thing to be honest, give me a spa break any day, but thought cheap holidays are holidays after all so lets give it a go and see if we can make some good memories... :/

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  26. I love Crantock beach, despite living about 20 minutes away I've not been there in ages! Glad you had a good time in Cornwall, luckily now my boys are 9 and 11 they're almost tame even if they'll never be house trained ;) and I love going on holiday with them now :)
    Stevie x

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  27. I actually LOL reading this post, which is something i rarely do. Shame you didn't get to read your book(s) but look at the stunning beach and scenery you enjouyed instead. We're caravan owners too, ours are in Norfolk which is a stunning place. Perhaps check us out if you're ever looking for a break on the east coast ;) www.caravanholidayhopton.co.uk

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