Friday, 2 December 2016

The Unnecessary Pressure of Christmas

Last year I had a bit of a moan about how fancy Christmas is getting. I questioned the necessity of Christmas Eve boxes and slagged off Panettone because I was feeling nostalgic about Viennetta.

This year? Well, this year I’m feeling pretty much the same so it looks like an annual ‘What the fuck has happened to Christmas?’ blog might be on the cards.

This isn’t a Scroogey post, though – far from it, in fact, I’m a massive fan of Christmas – but earlier this week I found myself getting stressed over all the impressive things other people are doing/planning that I haven’t been doing/planning and I figured that if I’m stressing out, the chances are some of you are, too. So this is my attempt to reassure you that you are not failing at Christmassy parenting just because you haven’t hand-sewn an advent calendar out of sheep wool you’ve flown in from Nazareth.

I’m bewildered by some of the Christmas-themed conversations I've seen online lately and the final straw came when I stumbled across an entire thread dedicated to mums debating which Christmas theme to go for this year. What do you mean which theme? I read on and discovered that one mum is having a 'monochrome Christmas' because it looks classier. Another is accessorising in pastels this year because the bright colours clash with her sofa and the third isn’t sure yet what to go for but ‘crikey’ isn’t it hard work coming up with the decorative theme every year?!

I wanted to scream at my computer, “CHRISTMAS! THE FUCKING THEME IS CHRISTMAS!” but I didn’t because it was obvious I had stumbled into a zone that wasn’t safe for me, like the Helmand of mum chat, so I muttered, ‘monochrome my arse’ and shut down the browser. What the bloody hell is a monochrome Christmas? OK I know what monochrome is – everything is black, white and grey or varying tones of just one colour - but that’s not Christmas, is it? Is it? Christmas isn’t supposed to be classy, right? Christmas is bright and colourful and chaotic and brings together a hodgepodge of decorations bought from random places or handmade by kids over the years.

Christmas in the early 1990s. Great times with little fuss.
Granted, this was just one thread. But over the course of a few days I was drip fed-further images of impressive festive creations and elaborate Things To Do lists and I couldn’t help but feel a bit sad. So much seems to be expected of parents in the run up to Christmas nowadays.

Firstly, you have to trample over people in the supermarket on Black Friday as you panic-buy presents you don’t really need but feel you ought to buy because of the colossal savings off the list price they definitely didn’t hike up the week before. Then you have to think about December 1st. What are you doing for advent? Some people are doing book advents, some people are doing craft advents, some people are giving away a clue as to where the chocolate is hidden each day - because if life wasn’t already busy enough you can now get up ten minutes earlier to facilitate a daily fucking treasure hunt. Then you have to get the elf down for the shelf and make him do cheeky things every day.

We’ve got shop-bought advent calendars for the boys again and they’re chuffed. We do have an elf - because the good-behaviour bribery potential is strong - but he doesn’t write messages in Weetos or cosy up to Barbie because I haven’t got the time. He basically moves around the shelf and the kids think that’s amazing.

I suppose my point is that Christmas isn’t about the showy stuff. Unless, of course, you want it to be. If you want to pay for a personalised letter from Father Christmas and arrange a visit to a top notch grotto (with a Santa so true-to-life he must have been through Santa Factor boot camp and Judges’ Houses to secure the role) then do it. You need not defend these actions if they mean something to you.

But don’t do these things because you feel like you ought to, or worse because you’re worried your yuletide Instagram feed looks a bit shit. So what if Derek from the garden centre’s black moustache is visible over his Santa beard in the picture and the gift he’s given your son is a shit plastic toy for the bath when you don’t even have a bath (true story). Kids are brilliant. Kids think Santa knew you didn’t have a bath but bought the toy for their outside water tray.

Kids don’t get to Christmas Eve and think Christmas is ruined because there isn’t a personalised ceramic plate for the mince pie and carrot or because they haven’t got new pyjamas in their ‘Christmas Eve box’. They don’t wake up in a cold sweat because you forgot to buy them glittery reindeer food to sprinkle on the front door step.


For me, the build-up to Christmas will always be about leafing through the Argos catalogue, putting the tree up without any regard for monochrome classiness, eating tins of chocolates, drinking Buck’s Fizz, watching Home Alone and dancing around the living room to Shakin’ Stevens.
Tuesday is set to the greatest moment of the year so far when I get to watch my little Henry Bear be a shepherd in his first nativity ('Get that fire going!' - I've been saying his lines in my sleep).

That’s Christmas. I bloody love it.

This isn't my way of 'mum-shaming' anybody who is borderline professional at festive stuff. I just felt I needed a moment to re-focus on what’s important and what's important is different for all of us. It's whatever stuff we believe to be important.

Don’t get swept up in doing shit you don’t really want to do.
Don’t worry about keeping up with The Clauses on social media.
Don’t put Derek out of business.

Have a proper crimbo.
x

176 comments:

  1. Ah thank you for this! Brilliant post, well saidπŸ‘ŒπŸ»πŸŽ„
    www.sundayblonde.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well said lady. I hate the elf thing and Christmas is expensive enough without book advent calendars and Christmas eve boxes. My girls have new £5 pjs and a £2 chocolate calendar. Boom. I'm working Christmas day and boxing day so out family Christmas will be the 24th...going European innit

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you. Christmas this year is tough for me. Long story but I am in the midst of a hellish divorce with a nearly 7 yr old, 5 yr old and 8 month old. Money is tight. And I am really not feeling the festive mood. Am keeping Christmas simple. Presents from eBay, time with family and a trip to the grotto. We are definitely not keeping up with the Jones's but it is all I can muster this year and it will have to do. And it will do. As long as I have my gorgeous little peeps around me, together with my wonderful supportive family and friends, who the hell cares what colour the decorations are.... X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas :) x

      Delete
    2. Good for you. Christmas will be special because you are together. May yours be very Merry x

      Delete
    3. Great choice keep safe and your little people will make it special enough.

      Delete
    4. Hi I've also found myself alone this year so sending hugs but like u as long as have my kids that's all that matters. I've been trying to cut corners this year and have managed to do my own santa letters on lap top really easy..just an idea

      Delete
    5. As long as you have your little ones around you christmas is perfect! Happy Christmas to you and yours xxx

      Delete
    6. Wishing you a happy christmas! Your children will enjoy it no matter what because they don't care about all the fancy stuff people add to christmas! They have a loving mum, who would ask for more!!?

      Delete
    7. YES! Very well said. It's one day. The pressure for it to 'be perfect' can ruin it. Fun with your loved ones and that's it x

      Delete
    8. Anon at 16.08 xxxxxxx
      Unmumsy Mum i could kiss you xxx but was disappointed not to receive gin advent calendar lol

      Delete
    9. Have a lovely Christmas and good on you for not getting swept up in everything else. Your children will love nothing more than being with you and seeing you happy

      Delete
    10. im off work this christmas,first time in over 10 yrs.so im looking forward too it!.my kids are up now,but i have fond memories of when they were small,i was fortunate enough to be able to get them nice gifts,not over the top,but normal,my son remembers nothing,but my daughter remembers,colouring books and pencils,and a book,both were about a quid,stocking fillers!!!!!!,they dont need all the faddy crap,they need the security,the little things,like hot chocolate in jammies,and writing the santa letters.i have 3 grandbabies now,and i will only see one,which breaks my heart in two,so treasure the time with the little ones,you will wake up one day and they will be all grown up,i hope you all have a wonderful day,filled with love and laughter.x.x.x.x.x.

      Delete
  4. Just LOVE this post xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Damn right! Everyone on our street has Christmas lights up and stars in the window, because (in Sweden, where I live) they start things for advent! Fuck that! I'll put ours up in a couple of weeks. I also will be putting coloured flashy lights up outside, in contrast to the boring static white lights of Sweden! Walk your own path and give them all something to talk about!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do have your flashy coloured lights and enjoy them - and a Happy Colourful Christmas to you! But I thought the whole point of this post was to let people do whatever was right/important to _them_. I'm not Swedish, but back home in the Netherlands too quite a few people have a tradition of silver baubles and white lights, and here in England I rather miss that. So why call them boring just because they aren't your style? They are "walking their own path" just as you are advising!

      Delete
  6. Love this! I dont have an elf or xmas eve boxes and the calenders are from poundland �� I too love Christmas

    ReplyDelete
  7. Damn right! Everyone on our street has Christmas lights up and stars in the window, because (in Sweden, where I live) they start things for advent! Fuck that! I'll put ours up in a couple of weeks. I also will be putting coloured flashy lights up outside, in contrast to the boring static white lights of Sweden! Walk your own path and give them all something to talk about!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Too bloody right!! x

    ReplyDelete
  9. We all worry about Christmas in our own ways. I've known people to redecorate their houses to go with the new tree! My tree has been the same for years and we now have family traditions that are simple but lovely. The most important thing is that you have the people who mean most to you close by so that you can share the love of Christmas together!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Henry has a speaking part as a shepherd? That's amazing! Summer just has to stand there looking all shepherdy next to the sheep πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you for showing me I'm doing a great job just as I am xx

    ReplyDelete
  12. All you have said is so very true. We always see or hear of other parents doing lavish things for their kids and we always wish we could do it too. They way I see it is that if I have the money to do or buy certain things then I will but I know my kids wont kick up a fuss if they don't get a certain thing. Christmas is just such a pressure every year.

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is exactly what I needed to read today! Thank you xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. ���� Guilty on the monochrome thing i'm afraid. But mainly because my house is black and white 365 days a year and the coloured decorations would play havoc with my OCD ��

    Absolutely, totally and utterly agree with the rest though. I've 'unfollowed' any Elf/Ceramic Plate/Santa's Footprint wankers until the New Year. Although, they are usually the lovey dovey Valentine show offs too, so maybe I should think about blocking them for good ����

    ReplyDelete
  15. Love this. :-) I am usually someone who gives myself far too much to do at Christmas and ends up having a meltdown before it's even arrived. I have gone simpler, messier and more fun this year.... and probably forever more. Thanks for your fab blog.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love this thread. When my daughter 6, was asked in school why she hasn't got an elf on the shelf her response was we have an elf but it lives on our nice comfy sofa instead !!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I hate the plates. What is the point in something you use once a evening a year that lives in the loft the rest of the time. Just use a regular plate. Why pay a tenner or more for someone to write your kids name on a single piece of crockery!? When my brothers and I were kids (80s/90s) we didn't even have a stocking, advent calendars were at my auntie's discretion and one year we only got presents at all because the social services lady took pity on my pleading mum, we got a stack each of jumble toys, we didn't know any different and were delighted. We still all loved Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Love this post. I did Xmas eve boxes last year. Can't be bothered this year and uve wrapped the pjs as an extra pressie, Advent calenders kids made their own 2 yr ago and they are out again freshly filled with swizzle sweets only because I hate cheap chocolate. And not many of our decorations match because I add to them each year. And santas mince pie get served in its foil tray because I dont believe he has time to admire a personalized plate.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I love our book advent, but we use the same books each year (just update one or two which my eldest has grown out of) I refuse to wrap them (hated the idea that the kids would think that they would get a present everyday!) but I love this new tradition we have, building the excitement up with a Christmas story at bedtime each night - I also have the 'Chistmas Eve box' (but it is an old gift box, the kids really dont care if it is an engraved wooden box)for me both of these things were about selecting some new traditions for our family that would fit with traditions my husband & I grew up with and nothing to do with impressing others.... (sorry about the long comment!)

    ReplyDelete
  20. What's the elf thing? What are Christmas Eve boxes? My eldest is only 2.5 years old, I guess I've been living in ignorant bliss!

    ReplyDelete
  21. This is fab , honest and powerfully true . Enjoy your crazy christmas day everyone :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. So true and well said. My sister, if we'd go to her for christms would tell us what her 'theme colours' were and ask us to kindly ensure that any presents we brought with were wrapped in paper in keeping with this theme! PAH! I grew up (as in fact did she!) with presents wrapped in every different colour paper imaginable, bought in packs of 100 sheets from the market (if you held the present up, you could see through it!). For me, Christmas is all about seeing how excited the kids get. They don't care if the napkin rings match the table runner and they certainly couldn't give an arse if I've done Tom bloody Kerridge's carrots. They've got paw patrol advent calendars with the slightly fake tasting chocolate - and they love them. My 6 year old is also a shepherd, and as he has autism, it's a big deal for him to get on stage at all - I'm going to be sat in the front row, bursting with pride.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love the miss mach of colours and decs that are home made that for me is the perfect Christmas decs. I only have new jammies on Xmas eve as well kids grow and there jammies are hitting a bit small lol we have wooden advents that I buy things for like a six pack of rubbers and pencils etc out the pound shop. Love this post.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I have a 9 month old, I wouldn't bother doing Christmas at all this year but I can't sell that idea to partner. The tree just seems like so much hassle with a toddler and what's the point in gifts for a 9month old?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Our eldest was 5 months for his first xmas - we set a £20 budget each & bought him some 'presents' (toys we'd have probably bought anyway!) and we opened the presents the other one of us had bought so we didn't know what was in there!

      Delete
  25. Love this!! With 3 kids aged 6, 5 and 1 its hard going and for the 5 and 6 year old i already have to buy 2 of everything so they dont argue as it is without buying all the shit!!!as for the tree keeping the decs on the bottom half with a 1 year old is a victory in itself never mind the sodding colour!!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I'm so glad somebody told me what a Christmas Eve Box is!
    I've been watching FB posts about where to get personalised ones from and wondering if this was additional to, or separate from Christmas stockings.
    My wish for 2016 is that people stay within a budget of what they can afford and have a "Happy Christmas".

    ReplyDelete
  27. Love it! Well said. Happy Christmas xx

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hands up, I'm doing a theme. I'm doing 'Nordic'. The thing is though it was no effort whatsoever. I nipped into Penneys/Primark and ten minutes later I was all set! Classy decorations downstairs and all the tacky stuff in my son's room which he's delighted about!

    ReplyDelete
  29. My boys are adults now although they still live at home, but I commented to the hubster the other week that I felt sorry for today's parents who have wee ones cos not only have they to do everything for Christmas, they now have a feckin elf to think up "naughty" things for it to do!! So you've had a busy day, did the dinner, the dishes, homework, ironing, baths and got them to bed...youve now got to mess up a bit of your home ie. Toothpaste writing on a mirror or cereal all over the worktop, so the elf has been naughty!! It's enough to organise Christmas, so chill, have fun with your kids and stop putting yourself under pressure thinking your kids are missing out, they're not!! Xx

    ReplyDelete
  30. Yeah who can be bothered to make Christmas that little bit more special for their kids! I personally have done an activity advent and will be doing a Christmas Eve box because I didn't get anything like that when I was younger and why the hell not? Doesn't have to be expensive , just nice to start new traditions and if you manage to snap a few pictures and share them on Instagram doesn't mean your doing it for everyone else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's not what she was saying at all πŸ˜‚ You do what you want but don't pressure others to do the same or belittle people that aren't doing because you know Xmas is stressful enough!

      Delete
    2. Round of applause for missing the point of this post. Nobody is saying if you want to do that stuff that you shouldn't. The point is that parents shouldn't feel pressured to 'keep up with the Joneses' because kids will love Christmas no matter what.

      Delete
  31. Same tree same baubles that my late grandma gave me -managed to offload the blasted tinsel. Husband is in charge of lights boys (aged 11 & 12) do the tree and I can't be arsed to rearrange their efforts. I do xmas dinner and I'm celebrating the fact the 95 year old MIL is finally going to his sister after 17 years! So I can have my daughter and her husband and my granddaughters over for the big day. If anyone doesn't like it they can **** off!

    ReplyDelete
  32. If I could get away with not bothering with any of it I would be so happy! I'm a grumpy bear who just wants to hibernate tbh but my child will not grow up not knowing the artificial nonsense that is the Christian Christmas. I will put the tree up a day or two before I need to haha

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh man, I'm so tired of the "are you organised for Christmas question" um no, I will be, eventually. I have random decorations and tat every year, the box my tree is in is duct taped over duct tape that my daughter has to sit on to squeeze it all together. My kids have advent calendars from poundland and still love them, they haven't got mountains of presents full of shit they don't need or for that matter want, I'm working Christmas day do we have Christmas eve, hubby is in the Navy and is coming home this ear do burst out the quality street and stick on crap telly. Kids will have great fun anyway!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. "leafing through the Argos catalogue, putting the tree up without any regard for monochrome classiness, eating tins of chocolates, drinking Buck’s Fizz, watching Home Alone and dancing around the living room to Shakin’ Stevens."

    This is Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Love this, you're spot on as always! xx

    ReplyDelete
  36. Exactly that! Merry Crimbo x

    ReplyDelete
  37. As my husband likes to say"Christmas is an excuse to have fun" as a mother to a 1 year old we're doing a lot of Christmas things this year but mostly that consists of baking together, watching Christmas movies, reading Christmas stories and listening to the little collection of animatronic soft toys clash as they sing a variety of carols, my little girl is adoring the whole experience especially the full on foil on the ceilings, Christmas threw up in my front room decorations and she can regularly be heard declaring "ho ho" when ever she sees a picture of santa, this is what Christmas means to me, an excuse to be happy and entertain my daughter and as long as everyone else is happy too why does it matter what anyone else is doing for Christmas it doesn't affect me :)

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'm a crafty mum. I make children's clothes for a living so Christmas is all about handmade dollies,advent calendars,and crazy elf antics but that's because I love it. I couldn't give a stuff what anyone else is doing but I live on pinterest in September then get making...we do new inventive things every year but not because I think we should. Merry Christmas,however you're celebrating...I'm off to make fudge xx

    ReplyDelete
  39. Love this ! My 4 year old is scared of Santa and a strange man coming in her house πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ agree with all your points !! xx

    ReplyDelete
  40. Elf on the shelf don't get me started! Supermarket chocolate advent calendars and new pjs given to them before bed xmas eve just so xmas morning there aren't pictures of them in miss matched in ironed pjs that are halfway up their legs cause there too small.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I really needed to read that been stressing that I'm not doing enough for my kids I'm a single parent with disabilities just putting the tree up requires 4 days of sleep after and as I stupidly decided when they were little that we were going to have Christmas fairies to put the decorations up while we slept I now am stuck with the tradition and stuck putting it all up in a mad rush while the kids sleep oh and quietly so as not to wake them grrr most stupid idea ever lol but it's our little tradition and that's what I love I was stressing that I didn't have Christmas eve boxes but we have pj fairies that deliver new pj's while they shower and they love it they don't need a fancy wooden box with their name on to love it thank you for making me realise that xx

    ReplyDelete
  42. Brilliant analysis....... think some folks have forgotten what we are celebrating. Thank you πŸ˜€

    ReplyDelete

  43. Where did this elf thing come from ? I really am out of touch.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Thank you for putting all my feelings into words x

    ReplyDelete
  45. Watching It's a wonderful life, the only monochrome/greyscale this christmas.Everything else is a mismash.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I lost sight of the Jones'a long time ago, my Moto is to keep things plain and simple and stress free

    ReplyDelete
  47. Your idea of Christmas hits the nail on the head! People who compete over what type of Christmas they are going to have think too much of themselves and how they are perceived, and have too much bloody time on their hands!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Fantastic. I too love Christmas and this is my 40th as a parent of 4 and now a Nana of 4. We have a great time...so exciting getting the decorations out and reminiscing about when and where we got them. All different and every colour of the rainbow. My children also in their own houses have similar trees. Themed??? Never

    ReplyDelete
  49. I agree watching some of the posts coming up about the elf on the shelf doing so many things and all these fancy presents before Christmas omg I haven't got the time or energy to do that, it's stressful enough just getting all the presents and fighting to get the deals and to each shop. I intend to put the tree up when I get the chance sometime soon and we will spend Dec taking lil man out to festive places so he can have fun and feel the atmosphere and then christmas week will be visiting and spending quality time with the rest of our families and letting all the kids play together and share toys oh and have a big fat christmas dinner. is that not what christmas is about??

    ReplyDelete
  50. This made me laugh so much... I was really worried I was letting the kids down, but you know what? They love their £1 Tesco Advent calendar, we put the Christmas tree decorations on this afternoon (complete with Santa hats and Christmas carol CDs) and YES we have all decorations in one bunch and big bare areas but the kids had a marvelous time. I'm really struggling getting them presents, but I'm sure they appreciate whatever they get and won't really compare with the massive presents their friends get.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Thank you!! Brought me to tears! My daughter is nearly 9 so keep thinking I need to make everything "extra magical" as it might be the last "believing" one. But this has just reminded me what its all really about and its not some sort of competition xx

    ReplyDelete
  52. Thank you so much for writing this post!! I feel just like this! Well said xx

    ReplyDelete
  53. Well said. Agree with everything. You forgot about setting a fancy dinner table with gold plates act. Humbug to that. More work.!!

    ReplyDelete
  54. All of this is so true and makes me feel less bad about not having a bloody elf on the shelf! I have 3 kids and am just finishing my first term at uni, I've barely even thought about Christmas yet, let alone a theme!!! Thanks cx

    ReplyDelete
  55. I'm due to have my first baby next week and am sick of people telling me I'll have to make Christmas special as it will be the baby's first one. He'll be 3 weeks old, he won't care if the tree matches my sofa! Christmas is special for everyone, as long as you're happy with family and friends around it doesn't matter what you do.

    ReplyDelete
  56. I read this post thinking 'I'm with you!' I hate all the personalised Christmas plates and Christmas Eve boxes, it's completely over the top and a way for parents to spend ('waste') money on the unnecessary to make them think they are showering their little one with everything possible. I wish more would donate to the local elderly, homeless, womens refuse charity etc and give some cheer to people that have little this Christmas. Kids have so much more than I could have ever wished for as a child and the non commercial magic of the festive season should be enough.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Finally, someone else has spoken out about the sheer ridiculousness and over the top excess of commercialism regarding this new craze of giving your children Xmas Eve boxes full of yet more presents for them to open and on the night before official present opening day which surely just takes away some of the magic of finding their presents on Xmas day morning and opening them. And dont get me started on all those photos parents take on Xmas Eve of their childrens stash of prezzies then as moe and more appear on your FB newsfeed it becomes clear that they are all trying yo outdo each other with 'My child has more than yours'..... So petty! OK, rant over!

    ReplyDelete
  58. This made me smile! Very well said! Thank you for highlighting it!
    Have a good multi-faceted Christmas!!

    ReplyDelete
  59. I never usually comment but had to about this! Thank you once again for a great piece of writing and for making me feel less like #badmum for having exactly the same views. It was Scarily like you were listening to me rant to my other half about the very same things. Hope the nativity is good (also sure to provide great blog fodder I'm sure 😜) I will stick to the carrot for rudolph and a mince pie for Santa that were more than good enough for me and hopefully for my just-turned-two year old too x

    ReplyDelete
  60. This has put a lump in my throat and tear to my eye as this was my Christmas as a child and I thought it was the greatest place to be. Ever! I've got every coloured fairy light in my living room as my 2 year old thinks it's brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Amen to that xxx

    ReplyDelete
  62. I was just ranting to my Mum about this the other day. I live in the US but from U.K. And here they have "holiday" everything....even dog beds! Who the fuck buys a christmas dog bed??? I mean I love my dogs but that is borderline ridiculous. And where the fuck are you supposed to store all this shit afterwards!!??

    ReplyDelete
  63. Well said! LOVE this post 😊

    ReplyDelete
  64. Have been feeling a bit of a failure for not doing the elf thing, or Christmas eve boxes, or new pjs on Christmas eve (I know the in laws have bought them new pjs for Christmas...how many pairs do they need!?) I haven't written any Christmas cards yet, I may just send to family...save the tree's and all that! We have no Christmas theme and use the same decorations each year, many of which the kids have made...I'm even letting them decorate the tree and won't be rearranging it afterwards (well not much anyway!)

    So thanks for this post, maybe I'll cut myself some slack. Enjoy your sons nativity...I love their Christmas shows at school...although my daughter was a pig in her first nativity...I was a bit gutted! Made up for it by being Belle in A Christmas Carol a few years later, complete with singing solo!

    Happy Christmas all.x

    ReplyDelete
  65. I was just ranting about this to my Mum the other day! I live in the US but from the UK. And they have everything "holiday" here... even dog beds! I love my dogs but who buys a Christmas dog bed??!!! Ridiculous! And where the fuck are you supposed to store all this crap afterward!?

    ReplyDelete
  66. Keep your chin up, you're doing an amazing job! I'm going through a similar thing with a 5 yr old and a 3 month old. It's our first Christmas alone and I'm really trying to focus on the time spent together rather than the money spent (haven't got any!). Think back to your own childhood - at most you'll remember receiving a few significant presents over the years but your predominant christmas memories will be of events and activities and the people you spent it with. Xx

    ReplyDelete
  67. I totally agree with this. Only do those things that mean something or are important to you. Now I adore Christmas, I take after my mum, never knowingly Under Christmases was she in her whole life. Problem is she passed away far too early this year so I had the real dilemma of what to do about Christmas as I'm really not looking forward to it. Chatted about it to my sisters and we decided this Christmas is going to be even more Christmased than normal. Partly for the kids as they miss her, partly to give us something to focus on and be taken up with rather than just the void that she's left and partly because she loved Christmas and we want to keep loving Christmas too, even though it won't be the same. So do whatever you want for Christmas, big it up, scale I back, tinsel the heck out of it (although please, I beg you, nobody "monochrome" Christmas!!!!)

    ReplyDelete
  68. Well said, my tree has mainly handmade decorations done by the kids and I love it xx

    ReplyDelete
  69. Thank you for this....especially today this is actually what I needed, As a first time mum to an 8 month little boy I've been so caught up with the ridiculous expectations of making 'Baby's First Christmas' absolutely perfect...that you forgot that he won't even remember! Christmas is all about family and spending quality time together...end of! πŸŽ„πŸŽ…πŸΌπŸŽ‰πŸΎ

    ReplyDelete
  70. Well said, there is definitely too much pressure on Christmas nowadays! My daughter is 'sheep 5' in the nativity and I sooo can't wait to see it! Christmas for us is a mixture of things-that-remind-me-of-being-a-kid (quality street, multicoloured lights and gold paper stars) and our attempts at Kirsty's Handmade Christmas crafts which usually end up looking like a collection of twigs and leaves from the garden tied with string, or a tower of uneven, fairy cakes dripping with a transparent icing and silver balls. Not very 'on theme' but sooo much fun!

    ReplyDelete
  71. Who the hell invented a christmas eve box? I totally agree the spirit of christmas is getting lost. What happened to being excited just going to bed in new pj's.

    ReplyDelete
  72. This pretty much sums up my conversation at work the other day. To all you mums, you all do a fantastic job and it isn't about how much you've spent or how big their present is, that isn't what they remember when they're in their 20's/30's.(Mine are grown up!) They remember going out and having snowball fights, being the only ones walking in the park, playing scrabble for the first time with their great-grandma , their granddad helping build lego.
    Consumerism, commercialism and social media only show you the 'perfect' scene...who wants to be perfect?? :-)

    love and hugs to all of you xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  73. I love this post, I was only just thinking how bloody stressful Christmas is getting because of all the extra lengths people are going to & I began to panic & then just read your post & as always you put it all into perspective. Christmas isn't about all that extra crap, its about the Kids faces on Xmas morning, its about good friends, families arguing, eating your own body weight in chocolate, oh and lots of alcohol consumption x

    ReplyDelete
  74. So out of touch, wtf is a shelf elf?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seems to be an elf that you help trash your house every night in the lead up to Christmas day. I'm still worn out from dinovember! ( where all the toy dinosaurs come to life at night)

      Delete
  75. Brilliant blog post :-) if you've got the money and time to splash out it can be fun but most of us haven't and I know it's cheesy but Christmas really is about families and friends.

    I'm a first time mum, looking forward to our second Christmas now �� I told my mum and dad that I was looking forward to making memories for Jacob to look back on. They asked me what my memories were of Christmas when I was young.

    I told them they were memories of spending Christmas with family and close friends, eating mountains of chocolate and playing trivial pursuit, me and my brother trying to stay awake and look out of our window to try and see Father Christmas arriving with our presents. And the smell of the Christmas tree in the darkened living room - before the lights got flicked on and mum and dad gave us the signal to run to the tree and unwrap our presents.

    Mum and dad probably stressed about not giving us the perfect Christmas but to us as children it was perfect, happy family time.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Ummm what is a Christmas Eve box??

    Guess that shows I'm clearly not keeping up with the Joneses...

    ReplyDelete
  77. I hate that I feel like I have to justify why I'm not getting my son a load of presents. He gets bought stuff thoughout the year so don't feel the need to go mad! I hate the elf as he'll be getting a Christmas regardless, so I find it contradictory. I used to have new pj's for xmas day...and the tradition will continue :) I love xmas with family and friends and tv and food can't wait :)

    ReplyDelete
  78. Very well said!!!!
    Christmas should be a family event and that means letting the kids be kids let them decorate the tree hand the cards l, eat to many sweets. Leave Santa a mince pie or what ever mam has in the house.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Oh no. I had no idea that there was supposed to be an elf?!?

    ReplyDelete
  80. And somewhere there's the notion of what Christmas is really about, which is the reason all the extra junk should at least be in moderation.

    Still it's not PC to actually say what Christmas is truly about so I won't.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Yes, I agree. Make Christmas your own for your own family. Do what fits into your budget both monetary and time wise. Do what you enjoy doing and what your kids enjoy doing to celebrate Christmas.

    But while you claim not to be mum shaming you totally are. This is a "no offence but..." post. I look at Christmas Eve boxes and Elf on the Shelf and just think "good on ya!". People obviously enjoy doing it so let them do it without a mean blog post about how kids don't care and how these people have too much time on their hands. Have the self worth not to feel judged by the actions of other people. If you're worried about not keeping up then you're the one turning it into a competition.

    ReplyDelete
  82. I love this post it did make me chuckle :D As a family we love Christmas :D yes we do have a Christmas eve bag but there is pjs a dvd and some popcorn in it and these items come out of the budget for each of my girls :D I do give homemade presents to family normally a cake as we are also on a tight budget and I have the same decorations I have had for the last 16 years !!!! :D As for Black Friday I tend to call it a do not buy day to be honest as I dont buy anything as what I normally want is never reduced anyway ! This year my daughter who is 13 really really wants a new iphone !!!! well not happening instead I have ordered her a money pot which has Jessica's iphone fund on the front ! :P Looking forward to a relaxing family Christmas eating to much and falling asleep in the chair watching tv :D

    ReplyDelete
  83. Lol, my Christmas tree when it goes up will be a mass of colour, being the mismatch of decorations that I add to each year with the ones that I like each year. They'll totally clash but that's OK, I still like each individual one. We've an elf who arrived late (the children will meet him tomorrow) because I didn't have time for them to meet him before going to school on the 1st or 2nd Dec (bad mummy), and he's bringing advent calendars that their auntie sent for them... I used to have a "perfect" white and silver tree, but realised my children would much prefer the pretty colours, and so do I.
    igr new Jammies bought but that's because they were £5 and tbh come Christmas Eve and bath time, I'll just be glad to be able to put my hand on a pair of clean ones with ease πŸ™ˆ

    ReplyDelete
  84. Well said. I couldn't agree more x

    ReplyDelete
  85. That post was so brilliant I coughed out my tea at one point laughing. And I bloody love tea

    ReplyDelete
  86. As a child my christmases were always magical and my parents always seemed to be able to magic up a special present even though money was often tight. I hope I made my daughter's Christmases magical too although money was always tight. Christmas has become so commecialised and extravagant that so many people get themselves into debt to keep up and provide what they percieve to be the perfect Christmas. A work colleague spends £1000 on each of her three children then spends all year worrying about paying her bills...why? This year my Christmas will be spent simply with my partner who is battling terminal lung cancer, we do not have the latest decorations, gadgets or clothes. My grandson and his parents will join us. Our food will be simple and homemade but our home will be warm and comfortable and we will not be in debt to pay for it. Most of all we will have each other......at least for this Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  87. I soooo agree with your post. What happened to the magic of Christmas? It is my first Christmas with my baby boy and I want it to be magical. Sadly the 'colour theme' issue is in my household.... every year hubby makes me choose two colours for the tree and the wrapping paper has to match them. The ornaments on the tree have to be symmetrical too..... It breaks my heart every year. :-(. I know our little boy is going to buy random decorations and while still young won't have respect for any stupid colour theme or symmetric of tree decorations... and I will encourage that!
    I hate the Elf in a shelf.... I find it really ugly.
    True, I am looking for a Christmas tradition. I want something to do every year with my baby boy and something that will make the whole Christmas magical. I was thinking of the Christmas Eve box but everyone is freaking doing it.... that takes the magic out of it for me! And have you seen the size of the boxes?! Seriously?! I just wanted a small box not a cargo!
    Anyhow.... my baby is not a year old yet so this year it won't mean much to him but in the future I want to see his sparkling eyes due to 'dressing up' the tree how he wants it and seeing Father Christmas. I want to share my love for Christmas with him and hopefully he will love it too. (Not like his dad!)

    ReplyDelete
  88. My Xmases over the years have all differed according to my time & money available but whether it was a basic Xmas with lots of 'presents' under the tree containing cheap colouring books, crayons & new clothes that I'd have to buy anyway or the latest most wanted toy plus lots of expensive accessories, our Xmases have always been loved & enjoyed. The main meal we took turns at hosting for the rest of the family with everyone bringing something for the table. The host would cook the meat, someone else would arrive in time to pop the fully prepared veggies into the oven to roast too or into steamer, others would bring a variety of desserts. It made it fair & affordable for us all. Don't let the money hungry commercial lot fool you into thinking you have to go all out to have a good time. What the hell are Xmas Eve boxes anyway? ��

    ReplyDelete
  89. It's unnecessary stress for parents as kids expectations are far lower than we figure. Our kids are 3 and 18 months and we can still get away with getting them each a helium balloon and bubbles, and they think it's the best thing ever. I know things will change, their lists will get longer but until then I refuse to give in to the pressure that other parents put on themselved. Christmas is all about building those family traditions however how small not spending a fortune on bloody personalised ceramic plates.

    ReplyDelete
  90. This brilliant , well written and so true. I have an autistic 20yr old plus 3 1/2 yr old I let them decorate the tree , we still have handmade decorations that my eldest 2 made at school at leat 15 years ago. We definitely don't have coordinating colours. Our advent calendars are always from Poundland.
    I love Christmas but hate the way it has become so commercialised and competitive.
    Happy Christmas to you all let's drink and be merry x

    ReplyDelete
  91. Last year I had a pteradactyl, tin foil balls and pipe cleaner thingies in my tree. Its for the kids I let them decorate the hell out of the tree. Once all the random bits of tinsel and decorations I have collected over that years are up the hunt round the house for 'that little extra' and if they can't find it they make something...or lots of things! It truly looks like the decoration fairies threw up all over it. But it is Christmas and in my house this is how it's done. I've never even heard of a Christmas eve box until this post. My kids get underwear, toothbrush and paste and some new clothing item in their stocking (but that's so they actually get dressed) and a choc orange some random nuts (tradition right) and a small toy. Christmas is stressful enough without worrying about what anyone else is doing. Christmas is the theme and it's for the kids.

    ReplyDelete
  92. I loved this post! Honest, true and from the heart. I agree with all of it. People make Christmas so complicated when it truly isn't. I still don't know what a Christmas eve box isπŸ€”πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚xxx

    ReplyDelete
  93. Absolutely love this post! I was in John Lewis ( Christmas decorations bit ) the other day and overheard someone saying: "Most families have some kind of theme and we are just picking up random staff!" It seems like these 'themes' are really affecting everyone! Thank you for your wisdom and love the reference to writing the blog for free πŸ˜‰ Happy Christmas 😘

    ReplyDelete
  94. We do advent candles lit at brekkie and tea burned for each day numbered and kids love it...never got on board with the elf or Christmas eve boxes...my kids know Santa isn't really....before I'm hated as a meanie...we are a Christian family so Jesus is the centre of our Christmas and although they know he isn't real my kids know about St Nicholas where the idea was originally thought of and it certainly wasn't the big fella in the red suit...I am don't like the idea of some fake fella getting all the credit. My kids know other kids believe and at 4, 6 and 8 they wouldn't spoil other kids fun. We can't afford more than £30 odd per kid but they get from family and friends so don't miss out....if when they get older they'll need to ask for money and save....if don't understand why people get themselves into debt for one day to "see the kids happy" my lot would be grateful for a fun pair of jammies from primarni and a huge balloon with the elastic band handle with rice in (£1 for 6 at pond land!) and a gift for them...of its a bike or something like that....actually two bikes the other year... they were less than £20 from eBay cos my kids ride a bike and ain't bothered it's not shiny and new from Halford!
    For us it's about a tree that has their stuff on...they know mummy might rearrange some ornaments they put on but they just laugh at me but happy their art is on our tree...I do have one love and that is the olive wood and embroidered ornaments from bethelehem I brought back when I lived in Palestine for a year and the nativity scene that plays silent night....the kids love taking turns winding it...sorry I have whittered on enough....be grateful for making it through the year (sadly we lost my dad...papa... in October) be grateful for any gift as it means you've been thought of...if it's a horrid gift think of those that would love to have a gift...homeless and dirt poor families (we know of them in our ministry) please just be there for your kids let their stuff be hung up play silly games...we played eye spy for half an hour last night!...love really is all any of us need.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Thanks for this Unmumsy Mum - isn't it pressure enough just doing all the extras like shopping for a million nieces and nephews, dealing with all the extra school admin, finding the energy to get to a work Christmas party (and/or the husbands)? I found myself quietly resenting Christmas in November this year. For the first time ever - I swore I wouldn't do this - I started shopping in October. Just so that I wasn't a complete exhausted wreck by Christmas Day! I love how my little ones require no extra impressing - they're just happy with their shop bought calendar too, and Father Christmas scares the bejezus out of them. I also have to let go of any Christmas dec decorum as the baubles will inevitably end up all hanging on one brunch at the bottom, thanks to my sons. I had to wrestle a felt ball garland from my 2-year-old yesterday! Why did I bother?! Have a lovely, chilled out Christmas - you deserve it after this amazing year x

    ReplyDelete
  96. I love this some people take the meaning of Christmas in totally way because it's about image and how better than can do better than the next person. But Christmas for me means so much more than decorations, presents but Christmas to me means love even if I don't have much to give but I know in my heart I can give love xxx

    ReplyDelete
  97. I love the tack of a Christmas theme!! I have a friend who's elf is bringing a gift everyday then a box on Christmas Eve blimey I thought what expectations you set your child mine thinks a fairy put the things in the calendar ever night & gets cheap Christmas jammies on Christmas Eve he is super happy & I love that magical innocence, happy Christmas to you & yours xx

    ReplyDelete
  98. I love Christmas :)
    My decorations are a far cry from tastefull! Just loads of pretty much mis-matched baubles and a bit off blingy! Cards are hung with string! But we love it!
    I must admit I do do Elf on the Shelf and love it. This I do inexpensively! Just create situations and props using household stuff! We have so much fun creating it and my son is a total believer! His face is worth the evenings of mess and time it takes to do it.
    I wish you all a happy xmas in whatever way celebrate it .

    XxxxxX

    ReplyDelete
  99. Phew - thank you. Am not failing by not having beautiful pics on fb of handmade things. and relaaaaaax :)

    ReplyDelete
  100. Yeah that's my thoughts too ..got a fab advent thing from a charity shop with the intension of putting a chocolate in other each day for me two year old ...ate the chocolates and it's still in the bag under stairs ..who was I kidding??.Xmas is supposed to me hectic but fun . Chill out n enjoy xx

    ReplyDelete
  101. You nailed it. Like everything.

    ReplyDelete
  102. I'm contemplating terminating a pregnancy so this Christmas might as well be cancelled for me...I do not have the energy :-(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you have all the support you need to make this decision x

      Delete
    2. Thank you, yes a very supportive family and group of friends. Finally in the Xmas spirit in time for the big man to arrive x

      Delete
  103. Bloody love this post Sarah. THIS, totally. PS. We're off to see Derek tomorrow. Can't wait. We even get a fry up thrown in too - plus I get to browse yet more house plants. Garden centre Santas are the way forward!

    ReplyDelete
  104. Thank goodness for common sense. Being born in 1949 I grew up in the 50s and 60s and Christmases were so much simpler then. This Christmas Eve box thing and the Elf on the Shelf are just commercial ventures and have absolutely nothing to do with tradition. One of my best and lasting memories is doing the Christmas post as a teenager - the Post Office always needed extra help in the run-up. Being a student at the time the bit of extra cash came in very handy. It makes my eyes pop out when I see £20 items being described as 'stocking-fillers'! Kids have so much stuff these days it's difficult to buy for them. This all makes me sound very stingy but I'm not. When you get to my age you realise the best things can't be bought. Don't need anything really and I feel sorry for young parents who feel pressurised into spending money they haven't got. Hardly surprising some people are out of their depth with debt. Keep it simple and don't feel guilty! Happy Christmas everybody. xx

    ReplyDelete
  105. I have a 3 month old. I put the tree up with my mum visiting as baby distraction...i think i got about a third of the tree leaves seperated when I turned to my mum and said 'this is so much bloody hard work!'
    I may not have bothered either except I always put my tree up in memory of my nan who used to let me put her tree up with lots of random colourful decorations whilst my mum was going OCD with the 'red/gold' theme. I now have my nan's baubles on my tree with lots of other random ones. I also watch Muppets Christmas Carol every year when I put it up. This year, because thw baby decided he wanted to cry lots and that Nanna just wasnt good enough to settle him, i didnt even have the lights on the tree when the flippin film finished...�� christmas is challenging with small babies around!

    ReplyDelete
  106. I'm 63 now and seen some changes to how Christmas is celebrated and not all good. In my house the theme is Christmas, a la Victorian, as in, if there is a space, I will probably decorate it and if there isn't, I'll hammer a nail in and hang something off it. We have presents under the tree Christmas morning and that's it.

    My two favourite childhood memories were visiting my Great Aunt in her soon to be condemned house, sitting by the roaring range, where she cooked (toilet was outside in the brewhouse) and sipping apricot brandy with a homemade mince pie.

    Second favourite. Christmas night and the little ones would be taken up unto the dark landing at my Grandma's, where Uncle Jack would have put a bike light, covered with crepe paper on Rudolph's nose, this was a stag's head that resided on the landing, next to the turtle shell (don't ask me why, posh Victorian Grandma I suppose) on Rudolph's antlers would be a small wrapped present for each of us. Usually monogrammed hankies (I said she was posh lol!)

    One advantage of being old is, you get to collect a huge amount of decorations over the years.

    Christmas is for enjoying, not making ourselves miserable. x

    ReplyDelete
  107. This is soo funny and soo true it's Christmas for gods sake let's just enjoy it !!!!!!! Monochrome ��������

    ReplyDelete
  108. It's Christmas for gods sake let's just enjoy it !!!!! Monochrome πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  109. You legend!!!!! Exactly how I feel about christmas. My family have a bloody good Christmas and the kids never complain that they haven't had a book advent or a Christmas eve box.
    Merry chrimbo xx

    ReplyDelete
  110. I bloody love this.
    Well said.
    This is totally what Christmas is about in my house.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Ha ha ha! Read the above stupidity by some unfortunate mistake! This without a doubt is the meeting place for all the lazy stingy have no taste or ambitions totally pathetic and can't be bothered for my kids mums? It's very interesting how people like you always have the time to judge, have opinions, tell the world what's right and wrong but really don't like the same treatment back? Can picture you next to your ugly tree with badly wrapped unthoughtful cheap nasty presents watching the kids 'have fun' opening them? And I bet you already have a large glass of alcohol in your hand? I actually happen to know of someone who buys their kids puzzles with missing pieces from the charity shops for Christmas? Bet they frequent this blog! LOL Oh and don't worry yourselves about keeping up with the Joneses - it's beyond your limited abilities, hence you need a blog to support each other! Merry Christmas lazy girls and boys, mine will be monochrome in the main sitting room more monochrome throughout the house and colourful in my son's bedroom! DonMt do elves, they don't go with our theme! And don't bother replying to this, I know you have all the time in the world, but I don'thave time to read unmumsy nonsense, too busy being a loving caring involved proper mum! Off to do some festive cookie baking! Fa lah lah lah la!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Monochrome is lazy, unimaginative and boring, just like you!

      Delete
    2. I find it terribly sad that some people have so little self-esteem that they feel the need to attack other people online in order to feel better about themselves. I hope you find peace over this Christmas and New Year with your family and lose a little of the bitterness that oozes from every sentence of your dreadful post, whoever you are and wherever you may be.

      Delete
    3. Hilarious!
      1.you have read this so clearly read blogs, comment etc so what makes you any different?
      2. You describe 'lazy' and 'abhorrent' parenting very well - perhaps from experience?
      3. The fact that you have taken the time to write this nasty post and then send another suggests you are not a very nice person at all! Quite an important quality in being a good parent don't you think?

      Perhaps YOU should stop being so judgemental on what is a harmless blog that a lot of us enjoy reading. No one made you read it or wants you to.

      Enjoy your boring Christmas!

      Delete
    4. You don't have time to reply but you sure had the time to read this and send a extremely stupendous message. Go on and live in your self-centered fantasy world while we will enjoy each others company and celebrate the true meaning of Xmas. And by the way, your whole message oozes stupid ignorant mum, so leave the caring bit to us. DUMBASS.

      Delete
    5. Wouldn't life be just that little bit nicer if we all let each other live our own lives without feeling the need to belittle each other? Isn't life hard enough already without judging people by your own desires? My sister in-law has a picture perfect Christmas every year and I love her for it. I have a cheap tacky Christmas and she loves me for it. What else really matters?

      Delete
    6. Well, given that you have taken the time to read the blog in the first place it's quite contradictory to say you wouldn't read it.
      People like you are the reason people look online for support, being spiteful for the sake of it is just such a wonderful way to live life, I'll bet you have many friends!
      Hope your festive baking is as shit as your monochrome house.

      Delete
    7. Goodness, perhaps santa should bring you some anger management classes?! How sad that you are berating the people on this blog for supporting each other, I'm lost on how that's a bad thing? Parenting is so difficult, and incredibly lonely at times, it's wonderful and reassuring to know that other people struggle at times too.

      Delete
    8. And yet, even with all the perfectness of your monochrome, more than one sitting room life, you're still miserable.
      It's almost as though money and instagram likes don't buy happiness isn't it?

      Delete
  112. Love it how you wouldn't put my post on your blog, 130 posts praising you for your full of swearing stupid blog of a lazy woman! Funny I have never come across your unmumsy idiocy, but then again, how would I seeing as I don't go online looking for parental advice! Merry Christmas horrid Mum, feel sorry for the kids!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, it went straight into spam but I have retrieved it and published both comments, so your festive cheer can be seen by all. Merry Christmas!

      Delete
    2. troll-a-la-la-laa-la-la-la-la! yuletide greetings to you!

      Delete
    3. Wow, someone is on their high horse! Clearly knows nothing about The Unmumsy Mum and her followers. What a nasty person making assumptions about other people and their lives and Christmases. Hope Santa brings you some manners.

      Delete
    4. What a lovely person, full of the joys! Merry Christmas Unmumsey mum as personally I think you're bloody brilliant! And so do all the thousands of people who have bought your bestselling book!!!
      Merry Christmas all!

      Delete
    5. What a lovely person, full of the joys! Merry Christmas Unmumsey mum as personally I think you're bloody brilliant! And so do all the thousands of people who have bought your bestselling book!!!
      Merry Christmas all!

      Delete
    6. But you came back to check if it had been published?! Sooo busy being a proper mum you had to check? Have a lovely Christmas you obviously lead a very sad existence xx

      Delete
    7. Don't have time to read the replies, however you come back 6 hours later to check that your post has been replied to!! What a joke. Go and be a perfect parent somewhere else. We enjoy being imperfect parents, it makes us a lot more fun to be around, hence why there's thousands who enjoy this blog, but there's only 1 of you.

      Delete
    8. The Unmumsy Mum blog has kept me going through Post natal depression and Post natal anxiety. Ive gone from not wanting to be here any more to being able to leave the house and start a career.
      What have YOU done to help people?
      Shes funny, kind, witty and deserves every ounce of good fortune in her life she gets.
      You do realise that these comments each have an IP address attached to them and your location is on there, so youre not actually anonymous? Lol.
      Go suck on eggs ya daft wee cow.

      Delete
    9. And don't bother replying to this, I know you have all the time in the world, but I don'thave time to read unmumsy nonsense, too busy being a loving caring involved proper mum! <<< but still came back 6 hours later to have another little moan. Dear oh dear.

      Delete
    10. I love it how you post and reply as 'anonymous'. If you feel so strongly about and feel you have the moral high ground over all the other readers/posters that you've read here, I wonder why you feel the need to hide? I think you maybe missed the message of the original post - everyone should enjoy their own Christmas and not feel the pressure of an often unattainable ideal. What a shame that you have done exactly what you criticised the post for doing - telling everyone that your way is right and the 'other ways' are wrong. Everyone celebrates Christmas in their own way. Perhaps you should get on with obsessing over monochroming your life, allow your children to be colourful and the rest of us will hope that they turn out nothing like you.

      Delete
    11. Dear Ruth,
      Whilst you sit there frolicking around your monochrome decorations, baking ginger bread cookies (which I suppose tastes like heaven as you are the perfect mother), tucking your sweet little angel into bed, singing Christmas songs and totally not losing your shit. I sit here, with a kidney infection, listening to my three little boys (the fuck was I thinking having three kids?) shouting 'I need a wee!, when's Santa coming mummy?! we want our presents' okay, well one can't really talk and is actually asleep (so is my current favourite)I'm rushing back and forth to the toilet, exhausted, and having to prep Christmas dinner and wait for my two gremlins to fall asleep. Whilst their father (my partner, I know right Ruth, three kids with same man, I must be getting brownie points there right???) keeps yelling 'Go to bed! Santa won't come if you don't sleep!', I'm too much of a lazy mother that I'm sat by the laptop replying to your comment. I would like to know how you came across this blog? were you looking for advice? was your child being a right little shit head to the point you felt like a failure and wanted to check if that was completely normal way to feel? (of course not Ruth, you are the perfect mother, pull your shit together woman!) I know I should really shift my arse to get stuff sorted for tomorrow, but I'm being selfish, I'm having me time. (what can I say? I'm a lazy horrid mother) I shall raise a glass to you - Ruth, the perfect mother that I'll never ever be. Oh Ruth, you can shove your monochrome up your beaver by the way, you seem like you have some sexual frustration there, or do perfect mothers not even find alone time to pleasure one self? lets be honest, men can't always hit that right spot.Thats enough wine for me...From, Amy - that mother who always seems chilled but is really losing her shit, Amy is a lazy mum, who works, and uses the tv sometimes to babysit her children, don't be like Amy, Be like Ruth.

      P.S I'm sure Ann Summers do Rabbits in monochrome.

      Delete
    12. Ruth likes to ride monochrome rabbits, fra la lala la lala la .....

      Delete
  113. Bit of a hypocrit aren't we? ' don't bother replying to this, I know you all have the time in the world but I don't have the time to read unmumsy nonsense' written on the unmumsymum blog, commenting on how you hate her writing and her views? So you're either an exceptional psychic who can seemingly come onto a blog page and manage to accurately guess what her blog is about right down to the monochrome anecdotes or you are a big fat hypocrit who is doing a hell of a lot of complaining for someone who doesn't have the care or time. Think you need a large dose of alcohol love, and a big dose of reality! if not for your own sake but that if your poor family!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!! P.S unmumsy mum, absolutely love your blogs!

    ReplyDelete
  114. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  115. Love the fact that my house looks like santa vomited tinsel everywhere and my trees covered with decorations that the kids made 16 years ago...xmas is about family and chocolate lol

    ReplyDelete
  116. Amazing.... Christmas spirit to the max there! Enjoy your monochrome Christmas in your monochrome home!

    ReplyDelete
  117. Fuck you Ruth. Just fuck you.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Troll a LA LA LA. Love it ;) I really needed to read this today. I feel stressed at the thought of tomorrow. Which is just ridiculous. I stuck to a small budget and shopped weeks ago. Have I bought enough? Will the gifts be liked? Etc. At the risk of sounding clichΓ©d I think we have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. I also discovered this Christmas eve box rubbish today. Whatever next? Too much imagined pressure to be perfect. I have been hiding in the house avoiding going in the direction of shops all week :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't get the Christmas eve box thing either and as my son ius shit of a strange man coming into his room at night, Santa leaves presents in the living room so won't see his PJs or notice that they atre Lego ones which aren't coordinated with me or his brother

      Delete
    2. Sat here hiding in the toilet for 5 mins peace on Christmas Day πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ kids been up since 4am.. but then I suppose any perfect mother would have sent them back to bed so they got their full 8 hours instead of allowing them to rip into Christmas presents (and oh lord please forgive me) munching their way through selection boxes to breakfast.. yet somehow we survived this habitual routine year in year out.. so the fact they have lived till Boxing after this awful parenting for the last 9 years speaks for itself! I hope your perfect child enjoys their perfect Christmas which I have no doubt will be anally organised.. on that not I have a glass of wine some sausage rolls and a lot of chaos to return to...
      Merry Christmas to all the other "unperfect" mums out there

      Delete
  119. My tree was did decorated by my six year old son and now all the baubles from the bottom are on the top due to the dog pinching them. There's needles all over the floor due to enthusiastic wagging if tail also.
    To top it off I've just been onto the garage to hunt out the 'spare' chairs for boxing day and they have gone mouldy. Hey ho merry Christmas everyone. X

    ReplyDelete
  120. Jesus! Did she get some tinsel stuck up her arse?! She sounds like one of those fur coat no knickers kind of women πŸ˜‰

    ReplyDelete
  121. What an absolute knob jockey our Ruth is?! I mean really? Sort your life out Ruth ffs U miserable old bint! Fa la la la la la la FUCK OFF!! How's that for foul mouthed idiocy love? ����
    Merry Christmas everyone ������

    ReplyDelete
  122. My tree is leaning to one side and looks like a 5 year old did it (he did to be fair, but I helped). We also had a terrible mix-up and didn't make it to see santa this year. But I love the bones of my boy and Christmas is going to be awesome. And I am so glad I'm not that nasty Ruth lady who makes her kids live in a monochrome house. She'd have an actual fit if she saw the mess in my living room.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Poor Ruth. That much unhappiness is very sad indeed. What a shame for her and her family that she is so bitter and unhappy, and so angry she forgot some spaces and appropriate spelling. I hope there is a lovely friendly woman somewhere who can give her kids a bit of joy and delight and understanding, that they see occasionally to realise what life is about. " mummy's angry again," they'll whisper. "Crying again, unhappy again, reading the internet again".......

    ReplyDelete
  124. Merry Christmas everyone let's just get on and enjoy what we have ��⭐��⭐��

    ReplyDelete
  125. Well here I am with most stuff bought from £1 shops, wilko's or ASDA. My decs came from £1 shop not because I cant afford to go elsewhere but why would I pay £5 a bauble when I can get a pack of 30 for £10 in The Range!! More money to spend on family especially my little girl (5m this yr) oh shit no we bought her just a couple of present because she has no clue & we have a shit tonne of presents taking up half the lounge from friends and family!!! Christmas theme what a joke! Its all about being tacky and hanging random and odd things on the tree and the ceiling!! These mums would prob be offended by the sheer volume of sweets we have (3 bag for lifes full woops) we are catering for 11 for 2 whole days after all!

    ReplyDelete
  126. Thank you 'Ruth!' I never usually like to read the grammatically incorrect ramblings of someone with a huge chip on their shoulder, but today it's made me feel great! Always awesome to have a reminder of what life could be like if I was eaten up with envy and resentment.. and realise that in not giving a fuck about what bitter people like you think, I'm one happy Mama! I'd recommend counselling sweetheart, as you can bake as many cookies as you like, but nothing will hide that poisonous attitude from your child. I'm sure they would prefer a couple of plastic toys under the tree than a genuinely bad example of humankind for a mother. Merry Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
  127. That's great love it x

    ReplyDelete
  128. I made the crafty advent calendar! On the days that I had planned to do stuff I lied and told them it said "watch Frozen" so we have watched Frozen approximately 1,000,000 times now.

    I bought the Christmas Eve box, complete with personalised ceramic plate and new Christmas PJs. We used the PJs about two weeks before because they had no clean ones. We did leave out the plate for Santa, one of the toddlers drank the milk and the other one hit him.

    I bought an Elf on the Shelf! I forgot where I'd left the little bastard until December 20th. I left him hanging from a picture then forgot to move him and indeed forgot to even mention him to the kids.

    No child ate Christmas dinner. They all wanted biscuits. Biscuits, incidentally, that we had bought for someone else. Nothing like getting into bed and pulling a Party Ring out from between the crack of your arse.

    Also, we were all sick for Christmas so all the presents I spent ages ordering online (I've toddler twins, I don't do shops) - all thrown to one side in favour of blankets and fucking Frozen AGAIN.

    ReplyDelete
  129. My favourite thing about your post was the photo of the Christmas tree. For some reason, it really struck a chord and made me yearn for the Christmas we used to have as kids (I'm Brit but living in Australia. Think I might be a bit homesick.....) I'm 36 with my own 14 month little boy now, but I hope he gets as excited about the simple things as we did.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Christmas is a time to be with your family, never mind about the class of present or how much you spend on whom. Love your attitude to it all - keep it up :)

    ReplyDelete